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AOL Chat - 7/13/95

OnlineHost: From the radio bellows a wacky, Southern-tinged voice that almost seems to emanate from a cartoon character. The patter is colorful yet harmless, even inane. Then, without warning, it happens. THE GREASEMAN harkens back to his days in the courtroom as a hard- hitting defense attorney. With an ominous edge to his voice, the story is launched.
OnlineHost: "I was faced with my most brutal dilemma. A crooked client came to me with a briefcase loaded with TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS." He said, 'I'm charged with SECOND DEGREE MURDER. I want you to take this money and go to the jury to make sure they find me guilty of MANSLAUGHTER.' I said, 'My God, that's ILLEGAL!'
OnlineHost: He slid me another briefcase with TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS in it and said, 'This is for you.' What to do? I swallowed hard and went to the jury, passing out bundles of bills to sway their opinions. The day of judgment came and we sat at the defense table.
OnlineHost: The foreman stood and said, 'We find the defendant guilty of MANSLAUGHTER.' My client slapped me on the back. 'YOU DID IT!' he cried. 'It must have been tough!' You bet it was tough,' I said. "THEY WANTED TO ACQUIT YA!"
OnlineHost: "The Greaseman Show" -- at least according to Penthouse magazine (December, 1994) -- "is a cartoon for the ears, a fast-paced barrage of ad-libbed songs, stories and jokes." Syndicated nationally by Infinity Broadcasting, the show features the stand-alone talents of The Greaseman, a/k/a Doug Tracht, who broadcasts live (in most markets) from a small studio in Hollywood.
OnlineHost: Armed with nothing more than a file full of current newspaper clippings and some skit ideas scrawled on a legal pad, Trache spends four hours every afternoon fielding live phone calls, spinning CD's, and, of course, belgting out his eccentric, sometimes irreverent, but always entertaining skits and ditties.
OnlineHost: It's a good thing that there are jobs for people who tell jokes and play good music, because Doug Tracht might not have known what else to do with himself. Born in the Bronx, New York, on August 1, 1950, Tracht was weaned on classical music and nurtured his imagination as an avid reader of detective novels and adventure stories.
OnlineHost: The consummate class clown, as a high school student discovered his professional calling when he heard a wisecracking deejay on the radio and realized, "That's me!" In 1968 Tracht enrolled at Ithaca College as a Radio/Television major, first honing his chops on WTKO/Ithaca.
OnlineHost: Roaming the eastern seaboard, Tracht accumulated experience on a virtual Who's Who of radio stations: WENE/Binghampton NY, WAXC/Rochester NY, WRC/Washington DC, WPOP/Hardford CT, WAPE/Jacksonville FL, DC-101 and now WXRK/New York, WYSP/Philadelphia PA, WJFK/Washington DC, WZGC/Atlanta GA and KLOS/Los Angeles CA.
OnlineHost: Obviously there's something that has propelled this on-air personality to the top of his profession. Since he was born with the voice, one can deduce that that "something" is the name and the stories.
OnlineHost: The Greaseman persona came from his early years when all the other deejays were "smooth as WolfMan Jack" and boasting about "cookin' with Motown" or "cookin' with the Temptations." Tracht, being a couterculture child of the 60's, thought that was the craziest thing he'd ever heard, so he started exclaiming that he was "cookin' with GREASE." Another deejay in the station finally called him "The Greaseman" and the rest is history.
OnlineHost: As for the stories, Tracht explains, "The first time I said anything over the music was at the end of the 'SWAT' theme. It closes da-da -da-dum and then I said, "Book 'em.' That was it. The next time I played a song, I added a little more, and before I knew it I was using the whole record to weave a tale." Some of his lengthy stories, which to his listeners might seem spontaneous, are the product of hours of library research.
OnlineHost: A skinny, 6'2" Doug Tracht is now a fervent body builder. He and his wife Anita reside in the Santa Monica mountains above Los Angeles. Please welcome The Greaseman!
CSEmcee1: Welcome to America Online, Greaseman!
GreaseShow: Sing hellelujah....!! thanks!!
GreaseShow: Go for it.
Question: Hey Grease, any syndication plans? We need you in Charleston, WV!!
GreaseShow: The show is currently available everywhere we've gotta talk some station in Charleston into buying it OK?? Thanks.
Question: Greasemanowicz! Do you have any tapes for sale, and how can we get them?
GreaseShow: We're planning to sell tapes 'round Holiday time and maybe even a wacky video..or CD ROM...
Question: Do you have any TV or movie appearances coming up?
GreaseShow: It's a little early to talk about, but I'll be working on a police thriller this summer and don't forget, to watch for re-runs of "Jack Reed: A Search For Justice on NBC".
Question: Please help me with my problem - here in the UK we think you're a God, Grease, and we have to get tapes of you sent over from the States. What sort of psychiatric help is available to cure this addiction? (Debbie, London UK)
GreaseShow: It's a sweet addiction to have, Debbie. There's no just need continued doses of your "Doo-dadd-DaddY!! PFFT-PFFT!!
Question: Do you agree that Radio wipes the floor with TV any day? There are rumours that you're going to appear on a Fox show later this year... (Debbie, London UK)
GreaseShow: I think both radio and TV are great. The schweet part about radio however is immediacy!! When one gets an idea, it can be put on the air instantaeously. Grab a few sound effects and off we go!! TV, however, requires much planning, expense and rehearsals. Radio is flying without a net, and therein lies its excitement!
Question: Hola Greaseman! Me fascina tu show! Donde aprendiste a hablar espanol? Lo hablas perfectamente!
GreaseShow: Apprendi in Nueva York. De Los Puerto Ricanos.
Question: Hey GREASE, how is your old friend Franky?
GreaseShow: I don't know who you are talking about.
Question: You base some of your bits on Britain - did you ever hear a British jock called Wild Al Kelly? He was doing stuff similar to yours and they axed him for being too outrageous - is that a violation? (Debbie, London UK)
GreaseShow: I don't get a chance to hear much BBC, they have heard tapes of me over the years, but they are afraid to put it on!!! Those wankers!!
Question: How do you feel towards HOWARD STERN?
GreaseShow: I've never met him. God bless America. People are free to say what they want on the radio!! I choose, however, not to roll around in the mud with him!
Question: Grease....Love your show! Are those calls from mentally disturbed individuals staged or do these people really call you? The one the other day from the wierd guy with the radio voice made me LOL! (laugh out loud)
GreaseShow: They really call. At times, I feel bad for their lost lives, but I think they get a kick out of participating in the show and becoming the "stars".
Question: How can Grease do his live show on WJFK and AOL simultaneously?
GreaseShow: WJFK runs the show on a slight tape delay.
Question: Grease, any book plans?
GreaseShow: Yes..Simon and Schuster and my agent are firing contracts back and forth. Should have some news soon!
Question: Johnny Avocado...where did that name come from?
GreaseShow: The avocado size "DOO-DADS"!!
Question: do you come up with all of those sounds you use on your show? Especially the sex ones..:-)
GreaseShow: What sex ones?? ha-ha!! We collect sound effects over the years. I've taped winos on the streets, and the creaking of the bombay doors heaving a havana!! After all these years I have quite the collection.
Question: Who was the ispiration for Irving Greasemanowitz?
GreaseShow: I like to do bits about people form all walks of life. I just changed the name to fit the situation.
Question: What is the story with you and the Fox network?
GreaseShow: I'm surprised as to how that story took the country by storm! They interveiwed me along with a lot of other comedians and somehow my name was leaked to the press..and an entertainment-hungry America siezed at straws of hope!! I do have TV plans in the future..with hwom, has yet to be decided!
Question: Hey greaseman, I would like to know what it is that you say at the end of each of your radio shows.
GreaseShow: "At long last I can take off these Grecian-Formula 16 stained headphones and head for that crystal-clear liquid that takes me so far away from all my problems and so far away from all my pain!!... Write it down!!
Question: What kind of music do you like the best?
GreaseShow: I have a very bizarre music collection. Sometimes, I'll DOO-WOP.. other times you'll catch me dancing to a salsa beat! I tend to like the harder stuff, but as long as the music makes me'll find a place in my rack.
Question: Greaseman, I love your style. How do you get so hyper for every show?
GreaseShow: There's a certain professional anticipation much like a baseball player feels when standing at the plate. He's not nervous, but he's extremely focused. Likewise, when I come to the microphone, and realize the eneormous amount of people and places tuned in, the juices start flowing..and anything negative in my life is forced away by the job at-hand.
Question: How do I get a local station to carry you??
GreaseShow: Write or call them and tell themyou want "The Grease". We are syndicated by Infinity Broadcasting.
Question: Been waiting to hear some "werbology", Grease. Have you used it yet or have I missed it?
GreaseShow: It's in the on-deck circle..thanks for the e-mail!
Question: Hey Grease! What a story tonight about the guy with the first remote control TV that you spoofed on! That is REAL radio.
GreaseShow: You are Too KIND..THAT'S the kind of stuff I will endeavor to keep doing!
Question: Do you run your own board?
GreaseShow: Yes, and I have two men that lean over, around and through me to make sure I don't screw it up!
Question: What's you favorite reading material? Type of books, etc.
GreaseShow: I tend to be an action fan. But every now and then, someone will tip me to a book that's so well-written, you don't care what's happening, such as "The Gold Coast"!!! (Nelson De Mille)
Question: Grease, can you tell us how you go about telling your 'stories' when you do your show everyday?
GreaseShow: I learned a long time ago, the most important thing to keep in mind about a story is how it ends. Therefore, I always know the punchline before I start out. And I just make up the beginnning and middle.
Question: How many stations do you have up now? Across the Country that is?
GreaseShow: 6 stations.
Question: Hey Grease, what's happened to your dog Blue. I almost never hear you mention him anymore?
GreaseShow: Certain bits, I do for a while and then I get a little tired of them. They don't disappear, they just occur less frequently!
Question: Why not a GreaseShow WEB site?
GreaseShow: There is one stand by: http:\\\jcastro\greaseman That's close anyway..and there is also one for Z93 in Atlanta: http\\\z93\
Question: Do you have any sound clips on AOL?
GreaseShow: We are working on a few to have on here...
Question: Remember the cooter race on DC/101 from Silver Spring, Maryland??
GreaseShow: Yes, I do. They had a "Cooter Festival" down South, and it was turtles racing! The lady I interviewed about cooters was hilarious, given our interpretation of the word!
Question: Have you ever met Clint Eastwood? Is he happy with your interpretation of his "alternate lifestyle?"
GreaseShow: I have never met "Clinton". But many people over the years have told me they have sent tapes of the stories to him. Since I've never heard from him, I've gotta think he's very secure in his own manhood, and does not have a problem with it, and also knows that I'm doing it in fun!
Question: Grease, how many hours do you work out of a day? And are any of your shows prerecorded for other cities?
GreaseShow: I workout one hour a day. ALL cities hear the same show, some run it at different times.
Question: You're on the air almost all day.. how do you have time to make up your bits?
GreaseShow: Everything I see in the course of the day I view with a comedic tint. My friends are wacky guys and my team is tuned in to the way I think. I put together my input with all of theirs and, somehow, Thank God, it seems to happen.
Question: How much longer do you plan to stay on the air before you either retire or climb the tower?
GreaseShow: While the job is stressful work, I still enjoy it after all these years. It is, after all, who I am. I would wonder what to do with myself if I couldn't bellow and shriek and speckel and F***********pack!!! As far as the tower your local news!!!
Question: Grease, how long ago did you start bulking up and how long did it take to get any results?
GreaseShow: I was spindly til I was 27. And then, I decided I would get BIG or die! I ate everything I could get my hands on..driving in my car, I had a case of "weight-on" on the seat next to me! Watching TV, I'd eat can after can of Tunafiash...!! Even on-the-air, I'd be chokin' down the chow! It finally worked. Probably, unhelathly to binge like that, but I felt the bulk would be worth it!!
Question: Who writes the killer lyrics for your memorable little ditties?
GreaseShow: It depends. I've written team of course. Generally, when an idea for a song happens on-the-air, pens start flying! And we can write a tune in three minutes or less (i.e. "Redneck",) And some of the more complilcated ones are produced my DC band "INGUS" and my New York band "BIGAPPLEINGUS".
Question: Nino: have you been pleased with the input from your AOL listeners? Are we as wacky as your callers?
GreaseShow: Very pleased. SO far the questions ahve been top-of-the-line!!! Please call on-the-air fomr 5PM (EDT) 2PM (PDT) ...800-544-9294!
Question: Grease - Could you tell us how the term SNARLIN' came about?
GreaseShow: When the aforementioned procedure takes place, an enthusiastic rottweiller!!
Question: What do you like the most about bein' the Grease?
GreaseShow: The positive response I get from doing this show is wroth its weight in gold. Starting life a little insecure a little spindly, a little's nice to be somebody! Please hold me I'm sniffling!!
OnlineHost: All good things must come to an end. Our time is up for this event.
CSEmcee1: Our thanks to you for stopping by tonight, Greaseman!
GreaseShow: Thanks so much for listening and please e-mail me with your thoughts at Greaseshow. I will continue to make you smile..thanks for the encouragement..AMF!
OnlineHost: Our thanks to Doug Tracht, "The Greaseman" for stopping by and entertaining our members with his unique brand of humor. For a transcript of this event, please be sure to stop back to keyword CENTER STAGE tomorrow at about this time. Thank you and good night!